Animal Hospital of Lake Villa

Pet Loss and Grief

The death of your companion animal may be one of the most significant losses of your life. With this profound loss comes grief and its associated emotional and physical manifestations: sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, helplessness, crying, fatigue, or changes in appetite and sleep patterns. It is important to know that these feelings are normal, and that grieving is a necessary part of the healing process.

Anticipatory grief: This form of grief is experienced before the actual loss of your companion animal. Anticipatory grief is typically brought about by the diagnosis of a pet’s terminal illness and/or the decision to euthanize. The decision to euthanize your companion animal may be one of the most difficult to make. It involves ending the life of your beloved companion and changing the unique bond that you share with your animal. However, the decision to euthanize also involves a very gentle and caring way to end the life of your animal friend.

Grieving:   Grieving is the natural way that your mind and body adjust to a loss and heal your emotional wounds. We strongly encourage you to allow yourself to grieve in a way that gives you the most comfort. Allowing yourself to feel the sadness, anger, anguish, and loss will aid the healing process. Conversely, repressing your feelings may actually prolong your sadness and the time for recovery. During this time you may need the emotional support of family, friends, your veterinarian, and perhaps a grief counselor.

The amount of time required to heal varies considerably, ranging from days to years. Although you may feel that you have finished grieving, feelings of sadness may re-emerge with a holiday, your pet’s birthday, or the anniversary of your pet’s death. For this reason, some experts suggest that you give yourself, at a minimum, one year to grieve.

Family: No two people grieve alike, even within the same family. Many families find it helpful to share their feelings of grief with each other and seek ways to memorialize their pet. Creating a scrapbook, holding a memorial ceremony, or even planting a tree in honor of a beloved companion animal may help bring a sense of closure.

Children: It is important for your children to see and experience your grieving process. Being truthful with your children will also aid in their healing. If your pet is going to be euthanized, avoid using phrases like “put to sleep”, “is very sick”, or “is going away.” These can be difficult concepts for children to understand. “We are helping Fluffy to die because we love her very much and do not want her to suffer” is a more truthful and less ambiguous statement. Make your pet’s death more meaningful by asking your children how they would like to memorialize their animal friend. Feel free to call us for additional ideas on memorializing your companion animal.

People with Disabilities and Senior Citizens: Dealing with a service animal’s death can be particularly difficult for people with disabilities. Service animals perform many valuable functions for their owners, as well as providing companionship. The grieving process may not be complete until after a new service animal is acquired, thus making it more difficult to bond with the new animal.

Animal companionship can improve health and provide a sense of order and routine for older people. Senior citizens who live alone and who have lost many friends and family can be especially saddened by the loss of their companion animals.

Saying Goodbye…: The loss of your companion animal can create an immeasurable void in your life and, understandably, in your heart. It may be difficult to imagine a time when you will not be filled with feelings of hurt and sadness. Whether you find yourself struggling with your feelings of grief, or you would simply like a compassionate, understanding person to talk to, please call the C.A.R.E. Helpline. They can also provide you with specific information on grieving, euthanasia, children and pet loss, and meaningful ways to memorialize your beloved animal friend.

The CVMA sponsors a Pet Loss Helpline and Support Group for grieving owners. “Wings,” the  support group, meets on the first Wednesday of every month at 7:30PM at the CVMA office 120 East Ogden Ave, Hinsdale, IL 60521  For help and support, call (630)325-1600 (No reservations needed, no charge, but donations are accepted) For further information or directions call the CVMA office at (630) 325-1231.

Companion Animal Related Emotions Pet Loss Helpline:  C.A.R.E. is a confidential telephone service offered through theUniversity OfIllinois College Of Veterinary Medicine. People who are either grieving the loss of a companion animal or are anticipating a loss are encouraged to call. If you need a compassionate, understanding person to talk to, they are there to listen and to support you.  They are available Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings7-9 pm Central Time. The toll-free telephone number is: (877) 394-CARE (2273).

Finally, remember, that your pet has been your beloved friend, companion and family member, and as such their death is a significant loss.  Allow yourself to grieve in your own way and own time and do not try to hide your feelings or allow others to tell you that it’s silly, crazy or overly sentimental to grieve the loss of a pet.  Your pet once held a large place in your heart filled with love and happiness and it is perfectly natural to be devastated by such a loss.  Though there is much sadness at the end of a pet’s life, always remember the happy times and unconditional love that make living with a pet such a joy.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they  can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content,  except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them who had been left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops… and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver… suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted. And when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands caress the beloved head and you look once again into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. And you cross Rainbow Bridge Forever…

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they  can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content,  except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them who had been left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops… and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver… suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted. And when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands caress the beloved head and you look once again into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. And you cross Rainbow Bridge Forever…